Grief Is Not a Problem to Be Solved:

Learning to Sit with Loss

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
— Matthew 5:4

When someone we love is grieving, our instinct is to help, to find the right words, the right Bible verse, or the right solution. But grief is not a problem that needs solving. It is a wound that needs tending.  

As chaplains, one of the hardest and holiest lessons we learn is that our presence can be more healing than our answer

Grief can make people feel lost in a world that has suddenly stopped making sense.   They may question God, faith, or even their own identity.  And in that confusion, what helps most is not explanation, but presence and listening.

When you sit with someone in silence, holding space for their pain, you are bearing witness to their love. You’re saying, “You’re not alone. I’m here.”

That’s what chaplaincy looks like, not fixing grief, but walking through it together.

It’s tempting to think faith should erase our sorrow. But Scripture shows the opposite: even Jesus wept at the tomb of His friend.  Grief is not the absence of faith; it is the expression of love.  You grieve deeply because you loved deeply and that love becomes the path toward healing.

The tears we shed in sorrow are often the first prayers of our recovery.

To “sit with loss” means to resist the urge to rush healing. It means allowing time, honesty, and compassion to do their quiet work. Everyone’s grief process is different, some days are easier than others.  Sometimes healing begins not in a sermon or a solution, but in the courage to simply be present in pain.

If we can offer anything as chaplains, it’s this: the reminder that you are seen, your grief is valid, and comfort does come… even if slowly.

Chaplains walk with individuals and families through loss, grief, and transition.
Our mission is not to fix pain, but to accompany you through it and offer spiritual care, presence, and hope in the midst of sorrow.

If you’re grieving, you don’t have to face it alone.